Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I'm on my way God

The moment you hear God’s call is a moment of recognition, a moment of receptivity and of deep concern. It is a moment when all we have to do it to realize that we are creatures, and that it is God who makes the call.

- Catharine de Hueck Doherty

God has called me to religious life and after several years of agony, tantrums and a slowly developing love affair with Him, I have accepted His proposal.

I've been thinking about this for so long that I forget that so many people, including Catholics really have very little understanding of what a calling to religious life means. I'm still not completely sure myself.

In fact, when I first heard the call from God to discern my vocation in life, I realized that I had very strong stereotypes of what it meant to be a "nun" and really very few real life experiences that allowed me to hear God's call.

Slowly, God called me on a journey of understanding religious life and the beauty of a life dedicated to serving God, His Church and His people.

At the beginning of the process whenever I heard a prayer for vocations during the Prayers of the Faithful at Mass, my heart would fill with absolute terror - "They are talking about me!" I would practically scream internally.

But one day, at St. Albert's, after this prayer was made I looked around at the young Dominican men in formation, prayerfully standing, strong, and pure in their white habits and I made a plea to God - "If you are calling me to this life - you have to change my heart. I am weak, I am terrified and I cannot answer your call unless you change my heart. PLEASE CHANGE MY HEART GOD."

And He has my friends, He has.

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